Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Bellyache, Bad Breath, Bald

Monday January 26, 2015

This was the worst day I have had recently. Big storm coming in. I had chores to do, and no sooner I got started than I felt like I was gonna keel over. Every five minutes, dizzy, nauseous, breathless. A couple of times I was sure I was gonna keel over. I'm not kidding. When I finally do, I'm gonna drop on the ground like an old dog. Hell, I've lived long enough. If I die, I die. I'd miss the wife, though. But a holy man I know says that you don't have to go to church to go to heaven. So she and I could meet up in heaven. Theory being, if you don't do anything wrong, then you go to heaven. Diddling all day on a computer can't be evil. Right? Suppose I might meet up with gentle William Shakespeare or Martin Luther King or Mahatma Ghandi? What the hell, let's go. I'd kick off for the long journey any time if I could expect at the end a chat with Socrates, but I'd miss the old lady. I'm not kidding. It was a stress day before the storm. I remembered way back all the people I hated. I wonder how King David felt the first time Abishag walked in. Talk about stress! He was old, had all the old things—gas, incontinence, bad breath, bald, breathless. Bet he'd rather spend his day out in a big storm face down in the mud than hang out with some brainless teenager. Now I haveta do two days chores to get ready for this fucking storm. And I feel old. I love these words the TV cooks up—historic. Aw come on! Bigger than usual. Temps around zero f and the wind blowing thirty mph. Unusual doesn't mean whatever you want it to mean. And as you might imagine Abishag might not have been too impressed by the old man either. We haven't had a 20 inch nor'easter with big winds in awhile. I've got plenty of firewood to stick in the woodstove. Hopefully the water pipes won't freeze. The Miller heater in my house is broken again. I'll fix it sometime before spring. Right now I'm dizzy, nauseous and breathless.

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