Thursday, September 5, 2013
Pablo to Eddie: Email 2
Subject: Learning how to think for yourself
--text follows this line--
I know what you mean, Eddie. Man, I'm telling you, to be honest, I've thought about the marriage thing a great deal, more than I can tell you. It has been a weight on me. Nancy and I have had our ins and outs. You know how beautiful she is. You were there when I first saw her. It was like getting fragged. "Who is she?" Remember I said. And you said, "Oh she's alright." I couldn't believe you weren't feeling what I was feeling. The waters in us are the same; the rivers are the same; the air is the same. My glasses were fogging up. Eddie, I don't think I had a choice. If it was love I don't think love can be anything like they picture it in the books. I can only speak for myself. Lately we've talked about it a little, because marriage is a complicated thing, and when you grow up it is something you can't help talking about with anybody who will listen. We listen to each other. It isn't like it used to be. And there's another question. Is marriage better when you are clawing at each other like maniacs, or when it is more tempered by common sense? To some people marriage is over when the clawing declines. That's like the kids I know at work, the way they think of it. Trouble is, by then there are two babies on the ground and another one thinking about it, and babies need the grandmothers, grandfathers, uncles, dads, all the weight behind them that they can get. Little bodies but big souls, which flutter around in the moon like bats. And if you try to tell them that kids need a father, even if he is a maybe not too bright, and if you try to say to the fathers and so on, they go, "Now why does he say that? My boyfriend is around all the time." I think Plato would have loved this situation, the famous passages in The Republic where the kids are taken from parents and set out on the society with a specific agenda for their education, depending on what their abilities are estimated to be. I think I got that sorta right, Plato I mean. And so on, and one in a thousand are Philosopher kings, I guess. You remember Doc Frankl in school? He said you could study The Republic all your life. Trouble is, there's nothing about marriage in it. But I think when the clawing ends, marriage is different. It is less talked about, I think it's a secret in life. You're not supposed to talk about it. Nancy and I had the kids, and we had time for other things, and we did things together. It wasn't like a waste of time, Eddie, you know what I mean, like the courtship, where you went to certain parties, and you danced together and what not, went to movies, you know. I used to think why doesn't that bitch just marry me, instead of wasting my time like this. I had books to read, real important things to study. But later when we were out together camping, and our kids were so stalwart and they were clowning around, it seemed only to last for a short time. Oh, shit! I'm at work and Bradley is trying to beat down the door at 2am to go out and play in the traffic. Gotta go for now. Just got off the crapper. Pablo.