Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Eddie to Pablo: Email 3

To: Pablo
Subject: Thinking...
From: Eddie
Date: Tues, 03 Sep 2013 6:00:33-8:00

--text follows this line--

No, I never got married. It's just one of those things that you wonder why and you never come up with an answer that makes any sense. Of course I remember the day you met Nanny. Instant new trouser style! You were in ski pants! And I know she was beautiful, and you can tell she was real. Pablo, there aren't that many girls that are worth marrying. That's just my opinion. And don't forget you were the best skier on the hill that day, the best skier anybody ever saw on that hill. And Nanny wasn't no snow bunny either. A lot of people would have loved to have her ski. So it was kind of an alignment of the constellations. So you were lucky. Dontcha believe it was set up for you by the sky pilot? But I never had that feeling. The closest I came was a girl I had gone with say a solid year, and we were talking about marriage, and one day she sort of wandered off from the group and somebody said I should go look for her, and so I went, and she and her ex-boyfriend were in the trees kissing passionately, and I realized that I didn't really care that much. I mean, if you're gonna get married, you ought to care who she's climbing on. She blushed, it wasn't a brazen thing, and she wasn't that way, the kind of girl who tells you one thing, and then does any damned thing she wants. The way I see it...who was the moron who said, "Well, in life you have to make trade-offs."... The way I see it, there is a certain individual freedom you give up for the right to get married. I don't want to make too big a point on this because girls are a dime a dozen mostly, and certainly nothing unusual about me or you, and you can always get a divorce, or leave the bitch if it strikes you that way, but the birth of the kids, the family love...the family love, Pablo. That is deep, and I know you take great pride in being a father, and your kids, you and Nanny's kids, are good people, and that is something, even if you don't do another damned thing in your life, to tell St. Peter at the gate. But with me the freedom, the freedom to do anything you want. Well, it's what I wanted, and it was I thought the only way I could see the world truly and make a true statement about it. Maybe it's my Roman Catholic upbringing, where the priest is a solitary figure not pulled one way and another by loves and loyalties. He remains at all times detached, dis-associated. Not like he doesn't care but dispassionate. I think that is a good place to start in seeking wisdom, and I wonder to doubting if that is possible for a married person in love with his family. And Pablo, knowing that business and that wing of the mental hospital you work in, do not end your email by telling me, who lives a hundred miles away, that Bradley is breaking out the door, because Bradley is probably some jailbait who would just as soon bludgeon you to death as look at you. I hope you are still alive and can read this email. Your friendly lifetime fool...etc. Eddie.

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